Editor’s Context
Only two or three weeks ago my GF of 4.5 years had told me she was feeling fundamentally unsatisfied and wanted to break up. The prior, insecure version of me would have begged to stay and tried to change who he was. But the man that her love and security had fashioned me into was not like that anymore. I took a moment to think about it and realised that I did not want to change in the ways that would be necessary to meet her needs. I liked who I was now and would be ready to face singlehood and possible loneliness once more.
I remembered RedQuest from the TLP subreddit a while ago and checked out his posts, maybe for some reassurance. Previously I thought he was just a TRP social critic, but only now did I realise he had a … wtf? A book on sex clubs and non-monogamy? What is this blog? And then I entered the rabbit hole…
“If you’re not getting laid regularly, forget this book and go learn the basics.” OK, I looked for the basics. On his recommendation, using my internet scouring tricks I quickly obtained copies of The Game, Mate, and from there The Mystery Method and several other documents. I began reading the first two immediately day by day.
I soaked up as much as I could as fast as I could, because I had a conference trip coming up in December to Auckland, New Zealand. This was about as far away as it was possible to get, all the way across the other side of the Earth. The perfect haven from my Greatest Fear.
I realised it would be the perfect opportunity to try on new behaviours and identities and take risks I was too scared to take at home. If the worst happened and I supremely fucked up, at least it probably wouldn’t make international news. And as soon as I realised this, I knew that there was no way I couldn’t do it; it was one of those thoughts that embeds itself firmly as a future certainty. As soon as you make the “mistake” of thinking it, there is no way out. You know you will at least try, because you will never forgive yourself if you don’t.
Travel always energises me and lets me shake out my wings into a different persona. I have often felt I need to keep relocating and waking up in new locations in order to keep growing as a person. Something about my personality is extremely sticky to who my local acquaintances are used to me being. Free of their presence, I can become someone else. I regret this weakness, but it is very persistent and operates at a level below conscious control. My brain does the next best thing by rewarding me for travelling.
I saw I had only two Saturdays in Auckland. I felt the need to experience nightlife on Saturday or Friday, that it would perhaps be helpful as a worst-case. Or just that they wouldn’t be empty. I wasn’t aware of the thing where venues are actually populated on weekdays and Fri/Sat is “Hard Mode” (shows how little interest I’ve had in nightlife in the past, lol).
Gearing Up
Once there, I quickly found and joined a local Game-related messaging group. On the first Saturday, I introduced myself and requested a wing if anyone was feeling up to it.
No response. Looks like we’ll be doing this alone then.
I had only arrived the day before, my body was a full 12 hours out-of-sync, and I’d slept badly. I’d even doggedly refused to pause my lifting, using my luggage, bodyweight and the chair in my room as best I could. I was exhausted.
Oh, how I longed to chicken out. Tantalising wisps of excuses sprouted across my mind, calling me to pull on them and develop them further. But I meant it when I said I knew I had to do it. Wing or no wing, I would not get an opportunity better tailored for me to push beyond my comfort zone. I had to go out that night.
I still wanted to go to bed by midnight, as I had obligations early the next morning. I think I targeted 9 or 10pm for going out. I’d still not got through the directly relevant chapters of The Mystery Method; I wanted to squeeze in as much reading time as I could before I had to put it down and enter the breach.
I dressed in the nice clothes and shoes I’d packed in preparation (good idea; one fewer excuse available). The time drew near. I tried to calm myself. To be honest, I was positive and excited, yet still a little nervous. Like I said, travel makes me confident and upbeat.
I took a deep breath, said a quick prayer to the spirit of Adventure, and went out into the warm summer night.
On the Streets and Back Again
I headed down Karangahape Road, the nearest street with lots of nightlife. I passed hotties, hobos, and everything in-between. I made a U-shaped tour of both sides of the street to assess the different venues, so I could then pick some to enter.
I had set myself a modest goal of 3 approaches that night. I had never done anything like this before, and my time was tight. I wanted to practice delivering the canned routine of the “Jealous Girlfriend Opener” from The Mystery Method / The Game, so that was my mission: do that, three times, try and make of it what you can, then pat yourself on the back and go home.
I finished my tour. I selected a nearby club, Wild-West themed if I recall correctly. I went and cheerily greeted the bouncer and let him verify my water bottle wasn’t vodka, lol. And then he asked for my ID.
…
Fuck.
My ID!
FUCK!!
I HAD ACTUALLY FUCKING FORGOTTEN I NEEDED TO HAVE MY FUCKING ID TO GET INTO A FUCKING CLUB!!!
…fuuuuuuuuuuuck. This was terrible. There was no way I could get into anywhere here without my ID. I did know that! I’d just … forgotten about it while I was preparing. Look, I wasn’t used to going to clubs, so I didn’t have the habit ingrained in me. God damn it.
I explained my fuckup and said goodbye. There was nothing for me to do except walk, incredulously, back to my accommodation.
I could not believe how stupid I’d been. More importantly, I’d be wasting precious time on a further round-trip to get my ID.
…I am sure you can imagine the temptation at the forefront of my mind. Screw it. Just take the L, learn for the future, write the whole thing off and get some sleep.
…but I said to myself: NO. I am not going down so easily. Once again, the thought of the sheer perfection of my opportunity here smashed through my excuse. My time is short, that much is true. But I still have enough left to do something. I must still face the terror, even just once.
I think it was on the way home that I resolved thus: I will come back out and I only have to do one measly approach. Just deliver that stupid line, one stupid time, and then we can return to bed having accomplished something useful.
I got home. I strode into my room. I found my ID, wheeled round. My bed called out to me:
coooome to meeeeeee. you’re a tired boy. I know you want to sleeeeeep. come and sleeeeeeeeep!
I ignored it and went back out the door, back into the night. I headed back to Karangahape Road once again, burning with determination to complete my revised mission.
Level 1 (first approach and opening)
Mission: deliver the jealous gf opener.
Outcomes: 2 flops and 1 positive.
Went into jazz/cocktail bar. Walked through and scanned for my “friend”. Not here. Looked for sets to approach. Some on couches facing me – shoulda opened these instead. Others at the bar with backs to me. I forgot in the moment about the advice not to approach from the back. Opened the guy in the set without the girls noticing. Loud music. Doh. “Can I get your advice on something?” Not gonna use the gf opener on him, incongruent. Stammered out something else. “I just got to Auckland, is this club any good? What are the good clubs here?” He was nice about it and we had a short chat. Got some useful info about venues. Offered me to hang out with them but it didn’t feel right so I said goodbye. Walked towards exit. Set of 3 girls dancing, all hot. Again, approached sorta from back/side only getting attention of the blonde. Did the first few lines of the spiel. Could see the others scan and disengage. lol. Immediately: “This better be a short story!” /”This story is WAY too long!” great start… definite fuck-off / disinterest signals. I didn’t bother with the box bit, wished her a good night and exited.
Walked past a few other clubs, came to a corner outside one that looked too loud and with only dancers. Saw a 2 set sitting outside facing outward: Asian 7 with red hair streaks and nice cleavage, and a thicc Maori?ish 6/7. Got eye contact and IOI: compliment on my long hair. Minor peacock I guess? I went over and leant over on the wall in front of them. 6/7 has hand up so I go in for a hi-five. Looking for my friend, not here, got to find him. Asian paying attention, other not so much. Asian points to friend’s crotch and says that’s where my friend went. I tried to make fun of that and quickly transitioned to the gf spiel. I got through the full story pretty well, though again I failed to capture the attention of both at the same time and had to run the story twice. But they bought it and we had a fun chat. 6/7 said something and I was amused by the Kiwi accent. Asked her to say “fish and chips”, mildly amusing but I think I forgot to contextualise about me being a Brit. Anyway, I made motions to leave and Asian smiled and said “I hope you find someone tonight.” Yeah, my friend, I pretended. She repeated herself clarifying via the “coitus” gesture. I liked that but didn’t know how to handle it. “Ah, thank you” I defaulted and said goodbye. Asian offered me a fist bump and 6/7 held hand up, I held it for a short squeeze and left. 7/8 milfy type nearby, possibly a friend, was noticing by this point and was also smiling goodbye. This was a lovely positive interaction and I could’ve easily taken it further, esp. with the sexual stuff from Asian and decent IOIs from both. But I had accomplished my modest goal for the night and, considering the time wasted going back for my ID and how much I wanted to go to bed, I headed back feeling pretty good.
Scaling the Mountain 